Those struggling need to know help is available
By ERIC AVEDISSIAN/Sentinel staff
More than 100 people gathered last week at the youth center at the Ocean City Tabernacle to remember five local young people lost to suicide since 2014. Here they hold candles and listen to music during a vigil Wednesday evening, Feb. 26.
OCEAN CITY – They lit their candles as the music played a song of hope and healing.
In the darkened room they hugged, cried, and remembered loved ones gone too soon.
More than 100 people attended a prayer and candlelight vigil at the Ocean City Tabernacle’s Kull Youth Center on Feb. 26 for five young people lost to suicide.
The vigil remembered five youths who took their own lives in recent years: Maliha Chowdhury, 17, in 2014; John Delgrande, 15, in 2015; Nolan Siciensky, 21, in 2015; Kevin Potter, 16, in 2018; and Christian Pailleret, 19, of Marmora in 2020.
Upper Township parent Lisa Wachter said some Ocean City High School seniors, family of the youth lost and concerned parents organized the event to promote mental health awareness for children struggling with anxiety, depression or bullying.
“We wanted to figure out a way to all work together to promote need for better mental health, have things for them to go to,” Wachter said. “The vigil is one about raising awareness and honoring the memory of their friends who they lost.”
Students hold candles at a vigil Feb. 26 at the Ocean City Tabernacle to remember five local young people lost to suicide since 2014.
Ocean City High School student David Jefferson, 18, of Marmora, said he lost two friends to suicide, and that the event was a way for struggling young people to find the assistance they need.
“It’s an event to come together and actually know there’s help out there and that your life is not pointless. We want to make sure that you’re all right. This is not an event where you can find all of your answers. This is an event that will make you step up to realize that there is help that you have to seek,” Jefferson said.
Marina Yiannos, 17, an Ocean City High School student, said the event is for reaching out and letting people know there is help for them in sharing their stories about those they lost.
“We want to promote awareness and let people know that they’re not alone in that no matter what they’re going through we can help you,” Yiannos said.
Ocean City Tabernacle Pastor and CEO Jay Reimer invited members of the audience to talk to professional counselors and ministers in attendance.
“In our society today, it’s (suicide) a national crisis. It’s not just the Jersey shore, it’s a national crisis. It’s not just a young age group, it’s all ages,” Reimer said. “It’s not just people who are clinically depressed. All kinds of situations and circumstances can cause it.”
He urged participants to talk about their problems and concerns and seek help.
Jay Reimer, left, pastor and CEO at the Ocean City Tabernacle, joins others in prayer at a vigil Feb. 26 to remember five young people lost to suicide.
“These teenagers, these students and these parents came to us. Their intent tonight is that everybody here and everybody in this community would make sure that if you start feeling down and low like we all do sometimes; maybe it’s clinical, maybe it’s situational, if you get there that you’re prepared and you have somebody to contact. Be ready. You can reach out and say ‘help,’” Reimer said.
Sea Isle City United Methodist Church Pastor Melissa Doyle-Waid said teens should start advocating for each other.
“If more of you stand up and come alongside of the folks who are hurting … you’re going to be able to make a difference. Administrators can’t do it for you. You guys can change the culture in your schools. You can do it by caring about other people,” Doyle-Waid said.
Brandy Armpriester, 28, recalled how she missed her brother Nolan, who took his own life in 2015.
She read a letter to her brother, describing how important he was to her and how painful it was losing him.
“That phone call was something I’ll never ever forget,” Armpriester said. “On my drive down to mom’s in the snow I prayed to God this was some sort of mistake, but it wasn’t. This horror became a reality way too fast.”
She said her brother Nolan’s death impacted her life and that she’ll always remember him.
“The pain of losing someone never changes, so we have to change in order to make it through,” she said. “I used to text your phone number all the time until one day somebody answered me back. They gave away your phone number to somebody else and it felt like I lost you all over again.”
She told the Sentinel how the vigil was a way for families of those lost to suicide can unite for support.
“We’re just trying to spread help and hope and awareness throughout the whole community just to show that there is help out there and there is hope. We’re just trying to create a safe place for people to come to,” Armpriester said.
Voice trembling, Caliope Yiannos recalled her friend Maliha Chowdhury, who took her own life in 2014.
“She was a beautiful girl who enjoyed singing and dancing and always tried to make the best out of everything,” Caliope Yiannos said. “She’s greatly missed by her entire family and her friends. To all the people listening make sure you keep your loved ones close, you never know the last time you get to see or hear from them.”
Earl and Bobbi Lynn Potter of Petersburg described how losing their son Kevin in 2018 affected their family.
Earl Potter recalled how that fateful June day was like any other; he spoke with his son and made plans for the day which included riding ATVs, going fishing and working on his truck.
“It just seemed like another normal day,” Earl Potter recalled. “We were texting and then for some reason – and I’ll never forget this time – at 12:30 I texted ‘are you okay?’ He responded back ‘yes.’ That was our last communication.”
He urged people to ask for help or be present for those struggling.
“You may not know if somebody is in trouble, but do your best. Say you love them and just have no regrets in life,” Earl Potter said. “I can never understand why Kev or any other kid would want to make such a decision, but tonight we are here to bring awareness as to how real suicide in our community is. If we can just make some difference in memory of those lost, I hope they and their families can at least be proud something is trying to be done. This is pure hell that no family or friend needs to go through alone.”
Family, friends and classmates gather at a vigil Feb. 26 at the Ocean City Tabernacle youth center to remember five young people lost to suicide locally since 2014.
Speakers who want to raise awareness about how that national crisis of suicide is impacting the area and that there is help available for young people who are struggling.
If you or someone you know is struggling with suicide, addiction, and mental health issues, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or text “Start” to 741-741 or visit www.spreadthelovefoundation.com. Spread The Love Foundation is dedicated to preventing teen suicide.