By TONY CHERBY
BUENA — I have no idea who defined golf as “a good walk ruined,” but he must have taken his stroll on a day like the one that greeted the Ocean City Tuesday Senior Golf League Aug. 20.
For my money, I think the opposite is true; I see golf as the only thing that makes a walk good, no matter the weather. In any case, when we revved up our carts and headed out to face those emerald challenges once again, the air was “crisp and clean,” as one might say in a cliché contest, more like mid-September than late August. And what a relief it was after all those scorchers.
As for my carriage, it delivered its occupants to the wrong fairway, albeit just one askew from where I thought I had aimed the thing. Eventually, we got to the 15th tee, after which it didn’t take me long to realize that my game had stayed home, along with my putter. Yep, I forgot to bring my trusty flat stick, one that has never missed a fourth putt on any green, on any course in any state or territory. Bobby the Cart Guru, who gets us off and limping every morning, loaned me what he said was a fine replacement, but not in my hands. I should have gone with my instincts and used my 5-hybrid like the last time this happened.
My opponent, Fire Marshal Bill Gardner, sure brought his game and all his clubs to the foray. He beat me handily, coming with a solid round highlighted by his fourth pin win and the second one on Satan’s own, the fifth hole. His 3’10” effort is the closest anyone has come there this season. And, yes, he made his birdie. Given the size of our prizes, that’s a lot more satisfying than winning the contest. For one thing, the carpet on 5 is really tough to find, guarded by two bunkers where trolls and other creatures of the night have taken up residence. It’s where I aim for the left bunker, hit the ball, close my eyes, and hope; hope, that is, that I followed those steps in the correct order. As for the ball, well it goes wherever it wants in any case; “it is,” as they say, “what it is.”
Bruce Goldberg also nailed his second pin win. He did it on No. 12, where he had a putt from somewhere in the vicinity of Cow Town. But none should scoff when Bill Wright hands out prizes and announces the results; I mean, where the devil did the rest of us end up? And on No. 8, no one got on the green. That’s happened twice there, and twice on No. 5 as well.
Like Gardner, Ralph DeLanzo has four Closest to the Pin wins. They are two back of Rich Hawthorne, who hasn’t saddled up for several weeks due to a creaky joint. So, his six pin wins are most impressive. But DeLanzo had the Shot of the Day, and even for the year, on all par 3s. His ball sidled up to a mere 8” from the Promised Land on the wet and rocky 17th. And he also owns the second-best shot of the year, an 18-incher on No. 12 which, as I recall, was his very first shot of the year on opening day.
With 40 notches on his putter grip, DeLanzo is now our points winner. No surprise: he’s been at the top of that leaderboard since our 2024 trek began. We only have two matches to go, with 8 points remaining to be pocketed. Dave Carter, with 27 points, is Ralph’s closest rival. So do the math: no matter what, Dave has been eliminated for Most Points Won.
In our other Races to September, barring something very unusual, DeLanzo also looks like a sure bet to win Average Low Gross. Average Low Net is still up for grabs, with a few swings separating Dave Carter and Tony Cornell. Carter is also leading for Low Average Putts, but if he falters a bit and Bill Wright comes up with two masterpieces on Sept. 3, and 10, Bill could make things interesting. He’s averaging just a fraction over 1 putt more than Dave.
There were three sub-90 rounds this week. Bill Wright was tops, taking the Low Gross prize. Tom Bowman and DeLanzo were next, with solid 88s. Carter came close with a nice 90, and he shares the Fewest Putts prize with Wright. The day’s Low Net goes to Bill Gardner.
Here are all the match results: Ralph DeLanzo 4, Jim Hurston 0; Bill Wright 4, Mark Lapham 0; Dave Carter 4, Casper 0; Dane Mayson 4, Ed Lyons 0; Bruce Goldberg 4, George Curtis 0; Charlie Smyth 4, Ron Kelly 0; Frank Coppenbarger 4, Tony Cornell 0; Bill Gardner 4, Tony Cherby 0; Jack Hiner 3, Bill Brandreth 1; Tom Bowman 2, Rick Schultz 2.
If anyone want to know where they stand in our many contests, all our stats and more are available at: ocstgl.golfleague3.net. YTD numbers are summarized by exploring links in the Documents window that is found there. If anyone can’t figure out how to navigate the website, ask the nearest 6-year-old. Or just ask me; I’ll explain everything if you bring the crayons and can put up with the abuse.
WEEKLY WINNERS
LOW GROSS: Bill Wright (87)
LOW NET: Bill Gardner (67)
FEWEST PUTTS: Bill Wright, Dave Carter (29)
BIRDIES: Bill Gardner, Ralph DeLanzo, Ed Lyons
Most Pars: Mark Lapham, Bill Wright, Dave Carter (5)
CLOSEST TO THE PINS
No. 5 Bill Gardner (3’ 10”) Closest for the year
No. 8 Nyet, Niente, Zip
No. 12 Bruce Goldberg (40’)
No. 17 Ralph DeLanzo (8”) closest for the year on all par-3s
