Linwood school counselors support students with Social and Emotional Learning
By DAVID NAHAN/Sentinel staff
LINWOOD – Before Linwood schools went on spring break last week, the counselors at Seaview Elementary and Belhaven Middle sent worksheets to students offering fun and easy tasks and activities – all optional – to do each day to alleviate stress and improve their wellness.
It was a week of Social Emotional Learning (SEL) done in a gentle and supportive way appropriate for their age groups to help them during the COVID-19 pandemic that has forced students home from school, many parents home from work and has kept them from their classmates, teachers, friends and extended family, and upended many of their usual routines.
At Belhaven, school counselor Jackie Baltozer challenged the students to “design and create a blue and gold heart to hang in your window. You can paint, color, whatever! Get crazy creative or keep it simple! Leave this hanging in the window so that all week long, any other Falcon that passes by will feel connected.”
Her tasks for the week started with “Movement and Meditation Monday” – moving, because it helps with emotions, learning and relationships along with physical strength and endurance; and mindfulness meditation, which “can help us reduce or even eliminate negative thoughts, worries, anxiety, all factors that can prevent us from being happy.” Baltozer offered a list of potentials – a Linwood meditation class, a family dance party, yoga and more.
“Creative Tuesday” offered web links to a tour of the Getty Museum, coloring pages online and other activities.
The goal for “Staycation Wednesday” was taking a break from routine “to focus on positive thoughts and positive days to come.” “Gratitude Thursday” was a day to boost positivity and happiness by focusing “on all that we have and what we are thankful for” and “Friendship Friday” was a time to build friendships in spite of the physical distance separating them.”
Seaview Elementary School counselor Shari Frolove started her (SEL) week by asking students to put a stuffed animal in their window at home. “Find your cuddliest or silliest stuffie. Leave this somewhere visible in the window so that all week long, any other Seaview Dolphin that passes can enjoy a fun way … to help us feel connected.”
Frolove coordinated the SEL program with Baltozer, so much of their schedules coincided, but some of her activities focused more on elementary students, such as a “Stuffie Scavenger Hunt” as children took walks around the community with their parents looking for those stuffed animals in windows and a “Color Walk” during which children and parents picked a color and named things of that color “focusing on the things you see helps you to feel calm and in the moment.”
Q&A on helping children cope
After learning about the Social Emotional Learning week, the Sentinel asked the school counselors a series of questions about the SEL and also about the way the pandemic is affecting students. The Sentinel is printing the questions and complete answers from Frolove and Baltozer so parents can learn more about the stresses and anxiety their children are experiencing and some ideas that can help. Frolove and Baltozer worked together on the answers. In some cases, they provided individual answers to expand on their thoughts.
Was there something specific that inspired you to do the SEL Week (Social Emotional Learning) or was it general concerns revolving around the COVID-19 pandemic and the restrictions, including having to do education remotely?
We are so fortunate to have a superintendent and principals who understand the importance of Social Emotional Learning. We have been creating activities for students throughout our remote instruction, but our superintendent offered us the opportunity to have a focus on SEL during spring break. Since this spring break has been so different from a typical spring break, it is nice to have this opportunity to reach students and families and try to offer support and connection.
What are the different types of stresses you see students experiencing, and are potential stresses because of the remote learning, the coronavirus itself, and,or other factors?
Jackie Baltozer: Stresses right now for our students seem to involve fear of the unknown: worries for parents who are essential workers, worries for grandparents or others who are vulnerable, worries about missing out on graduation and the eighth grade dance. There is also a grieving going on – a grieving for what is lost: seeing friends, the band trip to Disney, the spring sports season, the musical production of “Beauty and the Beast” that was cancelled. The disruption in routine has led to disrupted sleep habits, the need to set up new study routines and get used to new technology, and so many more changes.
Shari Frolove: Although students at the elementary level are experiencing stress with all of the changes, I’m also seeing a lot of students thrive in this experience. Students have shared how they have learned to ride their bikes without training wheels, helping with younger brothers or sisters and have even learned to do their own laundry! It seems that students are also taking this time to try new things, channeling their creativity and imagination, and taking time to reflect on the things that are important to them.
Are there specific fears about the coronavirus that may be affecting children in a different way than adults? If so, are they ways to allay them?
Jackie Baltozer: I think that sometimes children don’t know what questions to ask, or they may worry that asking questions will add to their parents’ worries. I think it is okay to let kids know that fear and worry are normal emotions at this time. What I believe to be productive is for parents to model their own ways of working through these feelings. For example, if a child is worried about germs, then a parent can say, “Yes, I am worried about germs too. So let’s set up a hand sanitizer station right at the front door” or “ Let’s practice washing our hands together for the length of our favorite song.” Also, allowing children to be productive can be helpful. So, if the family is worried for the health of a relative who is vulnerable or an essential worker, the parent may suggest that the child make a card, a sign, or even some goodies that could be delivered. This puts action towards combating their fears and ultimately may help build resilience.
Are adults passing their fears onto their children directly or indirectly just because of their own changed behavior or routines? If so, how can they try to avoid that?
Children can see how much their world has changed. They see people wearing masks, they catch snippets of the news, they know they can’t go to school, see their friends, etc. I think being clear, without sharing unnecessary details can help children. For example, explaining that people are wearing masks so that they won’t spread germs, and that masks are helpful instead of scary or bad. Children are very perceptive. False reassurance is not usually beneficial, so acknowledging fears is okay, and again, working towards building resilience instead of pretending there is no reason to be afraid.
Talk about the program that you used to help. You sent a sheet every day for a week offering activities.
We thought it would be fun and family friendly to focus on a wellness theme each day. Monday was Movement and Meditation Monday; Creative Tuesday, Staycation Wednesday, Gratitude Thursday, and Friendship Friday. Once we had our themes, we pulled in activities from various websites and best practices. Shari reached out to a community member who also is a trained yoga and meditation teacher, and she was kind enough to create a Linwood Community Guided Meditation video that was very special.
What are some of the activities for lowering stress compared to supporting wellness, or do those things go hand in hand?
There are specific stress-reducing activities, such as breathing techniques and mindfulness practices, but I do think wellness and stress reduction go hand in hand. One huge example of this is seen with the benefits of getting outdoors and getting exercise. These activities support both wellness and stress reduction. Stay connected with friends and family however possible is another example of an activity that supports wellness and stress reduction.
Shari Frolove: A part of wellness is recognizing your stress levels. We can help teach students and families to learn the signs and signals of any strong emotion. This process can be broken down in a few steps:
1. Check-in (notice when you’re starting to feel overwhelmed, confused, or frustrated).
2. Identify or name the feeling (naming the feeling will help come up with ways to handle or manage emotions in a healthy way).
3. Validate (something you can say in a challenging moment, “I understand that you’re feeling frustrated. I feel frustrated also. Let’s work through this together and come up with a solution that will help”).
4. Decide what will help you feel better (make a list when you feel calm and relaxed).
5. Acknowledge and Praise (take a moment to feel proud about handling your emotions).
How do you view your roles as school counselors when you aren’t able to be there in person to counsel children in need? (And is there a way for them to get in touch with you by phone or email or Skype?)
Our roles are the same and yet have changed. We are still meeting with staff and administrators to determine student needs, as well as reaching out to families and students. Some of the needs have changed with remote learning, so we are adjusting to those changing needs, as are our students, families, and staff. We have been reaching out through email, phone, Google Hangouts. We’re able to continue our role to offer support and guidance by providing strategies, resources and virtual counseling sessions both individual and group. Our goal is to continue providing support by creating opportunities that fosters personal growth and the health and well being of our community.
Jackie Baltozer: To try to maintain normalcy and consistency, while promoting social interaction, we have been continuing with our lunch groups over Google Hangouts when possible and plan to increase these meetings. I have a Google Classroom that all students have been invited to join. I post daily tips and activities that are optional for all students, and it is also a forum that they can use to reach me as well. I try to post a daily essential question regarding wellness, and I invite students to answer, sharing ideas that may benefit their peers. These topics provide me with an opportunity to check-in with students and keep lines of communication open.
Shari Frolove: Our role is just as important as ever. Connections with students and families are able to be maintained through virtual sessions, phone calls, and my “Time for You Tuesday” video and newsletter that’s shared with Seaview families on Tuesday mornings. My goal is to provide parents and students with a new tool or strategy that would help with identifying feelings, understanding and managing emotions and handling change. In one of the videos I explain what a “feelings check-in” is and discuss the importance of creating a “self-care menu” (e.g., take a walk, talk it out, take a break, take calming breaths).
A mom of a second grade student shared the following:
“Thank you for your videos! I just wanted you to know that my daughter paused your video half way through, and led our family in a discussion. We all happened to be sitting at the table, and each of us took turns and talking about our feelings. It was a really nice way to start our day! :)”
Right now you’re trying to help reduce stress and maintain wellness during the pandemic. What do you see changing in your roles after the restrictions are lifted and children are back in school (now, hopefully, by May 15 or so according to Gov. Phil Murphy’s latest estimate)?
I think that there will be a need to regroup and allow time for transition, for students, families, and even staff. When we return to school, we will benefit from taking some time to address what, for some, has been a traumatic experience. As school counselors, working in conjunction with our other mental health professionals and our administrators, we will hope to be able to help provide the emotional and mental health support, beginning by just acknowledging, listening, assisting to readjusting to routines.