By TONY CHERBY
BUENA — The Ocean City Tuesday Senior Golf League outing Aug. 13 featured weather that would have been perfect in late April, let alone mid-August, so we can’t blame Mother Nature for our higher than usual scoring.
I noticed how bad our scores were after an exasperated fellow came back to The Bunker, bemoaning a card with six 8s. I looked at all our cards, searching for other catastrophes to make him feel a bit better; boy, did I find them. There appeared an inordinate number of critters we call “snowmen” and worse: 30 in all. And those were the ones we admitted to in writing. When we were 25, just a single 8 would ruin our round or maybe our entire week. Now, it just befouls things a touch. Just six of 25 golfers escaped without at least 1 frosty fellow or worse, with 17 of them coming on par-4 holes. The moral of this story? Never look for bad news in golf; it’ll find you.
Now, the good news. The last time we were visited by an eagle was on Aug. 9, 2022, when Ralph DeLanzo dunked his second shot from the sand in the middle of the 14th fairway. At the time, I dubbed it a “Blind Super-Sandy” because the hole can’t be seen from anywhere on the fairway. This time, it was Roger Probert who came up with that most glorious of all feathery fellows. He described it as a “nice drive followed by a nice six-iron and a home run with a putt from 15-20 feet away.” A “nice” second shot to a par-5, with a six-iron? Talk about understating events. With more than a little envy, we mere mortals stand in awe of Roger’s great eagle.
Roger got that big bird on the front nine, where he fired a 39 that also featured a birdie on its other par-5. Coupled with a 43 on the back, his 82 is our lowest score of the year. But that’s only because we can’t count the 79 he fired while establishing his handicap, since it didn’t come in a match.
In what could be billed as the “Match of the Day,” Dave Carter put his 23 points on the line to get within shouting distance of our points leader, Ralph DeLanzo. Had Carter swept, it would have made the points race much more interesting. Ralph had 32 at the time and Dave was one of three players who had a snowball’s chance of catching him. Tony Cornell, Dane Mayson and Stan Borucki were the other guys who had a mathematical change of catching DeLanzo. Neither Ralph nor Dave had a good day, but Ralph had a less bad day, so he retains his first-place status; in fact, he increased his margin by 1 over his nearest pursuer, that famous perennial contender, Mr. T. Cornell. By virtue of taking all 4 points in his match, T.C. remains 10 back of Ralph, with Carter no longer affixed between the two of them. With 3 matches to go and 12 points yet to be pocketed, the count is now DeLanzo 36, Cornell 26. Carter and Borucki have 23, and Mayson 2 so those three have been eliminated from contention. But Tony can only catch Ralph if he has a perfect record from here on in and RD totally, terribly and thunderously thuds.
Yesterday, in a post-round interview like the ones I am famous for, Chris Kirk, the leader after one round, was asked what he needed to do to win. “Just play boring golf,” he said. Yes, winning golf can be boring. There’s nothing exciting about hitting fairways and greens every time. But for we common rabble, there is nothing boring about shanks, duffs, foozles, fat shots, thin ones, hosel rockers, ad infinitum. All of which of course are invariably accompanied by language that can stand alone on the entertainment spectrum. Based on those metrics, DeLanzo’s game could put a nervous rabbit to sleep; even one that’s on a date. There’s a reason why I dubbed him “Steady Ralph” years ago, so it would be the “Story of the Year” if someone dethrones him as we enter the backstretch of our 2024 season.
Now, don’t feel bad for Carter. He looks pretty good for taking the Low Putts trophy. And Cornell is in first place on the Net leaderboard, so they’ll be fine. And DeLanzo is at the top of the Gross Score ladder, where he’s been for two years. Check our many races and more at ocstgl.golfleague3.net (Our website features a masthead with a perfect aphorism for our game: “The most important shot in golf is the next one.” Or so said Ben Hogan, and he should know.)
Our “Shot of the Day” was a unique one. On their final hole, Ed Lyons was 1 up on Jack Hiner. Ed was on the green, several feet out. He didn’t mark his ball; he isn’t required to, unless asked by another player. Because didn’t Jack chip on from several yards off the green way too hard and smack into Ed’s ball? And didn’t Jack’s ball ricochet to within gimme range of the cup? Yes, it did. Ed put his ball back, as rules dictate, and he missed his putt and Hiner tapped in, won the hole, and the match ended with a 2-2 count. Lyons, accompanied by some bad luck, managed to snatch a tie from the jaws of victory. Had this little opera not taken place, Bill Gardener’s chip-in birdie on No. 8 would have been our Shot of the Day. But that doesn’t top a story like the one that Jack brought us. As for the Probert six-iron, that was the “Shot of the Year.”
Match results: Probert 4, Bowman 0; DeLanzo 4, Carter 0; Cornell 4, Gardner 0; Wright 4, Borucki 0; Baird 4, Schultz 0; Hurston 4, Mitchell 0; Gahr 4, Mayson 0; Lyons 2, Hiner 2; Cherby 4, Lapham 0; Smyth 4, Casper 0; Goldberg 4, Coppenbarger 0; Kelly 3, Brandreth 1; did RK and BB finish yet?
WEEKLY WINNERS
Low Gross: Probert (82)
Low Net: Baird (70)
Fewest Putts: Wright (28)
Birdies: Cornell, Gardner, Mitchell, Lapham, Probert,
Most Pars (6): Baird, DeLanzo, Probert, Wright
CLOSEST TO THE PINS:
No. 5 Nobody Home (second week in a row)
No. 8 DeLanzo 13’11”
No. 12 Carter 18’
No. 17 Kelly 12’11”
