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December 3, 2024

Parents, students continue fight to protect LGBTQ+ students

OCEAN CITY — Parents and students renewed their pleas Thursday before the Ocean City Board of Education to make sure ongoing bullying of queer students stops and that board members and administration specifically spell out that LGBTQ+ students are welcome in the district.

During the past year, a debate simmered over new state Health and Physical Education Standards that included sex education that some parents argued was inappropriate and too explicit for children. In August, the board adopted the standards in a narrow vote, explaining each school district was able to tailor its curriculum around the standards to reflect the community. 

Ocean City’s curriculum was developed by local educators and removed the controversial parts. The district emphasized that should students want to delve deeper into sex education, and issues including gender and sexual preference, they would be told to ask their parents rather than offered more information in school.

That balance did not satisfy parents who opposed the standards, including three who are running for school board this November after losing their bids for the board last year. Those candidates, Robin Shaffer, Catherine Panico and Liz Nicoletti, held a rally in September after the school board vote where they continued to rail against the standards, which they argue sexualize children. Their rally sparked a bigger controversy because the candidates’ invited guest speaker launched into a fiery, homophobic speech claiming state programs were “grooming” children for sex traffickers and that the Bible did not recognize homosexuality.

In reaction, a group called We Belong Cape May County formed, holding a counter rally by the high school to show support for LGBTQ+ students and starting an online change.org petition that has since garnered 5,000 signatures asking administrators and board members to spell out that those students are welcome in the district. 

During the school board meeting that followed, numerous parents and students stood up to talk about bullying of queer students in the district and asking for that affirmation requested in the petition.

Thursday evening’s public comment session during the board meeting expanded on that theme and also drew responses from school board members who believe the issues of the health standards and LGBTQ+ students are being conflated.

“My heart hurts”

Upper Township resident Christine Stanford said her heart hurts when she reads “the hate on full display” on social media, including on an account moderated by a candidate.

She said one parent called for segregation in public schools, separating LGBTQ+ students — those who choose a special pronoun — from the rest of the students “so they could be with their own people.”

Another candidate said a booklet titled “How to be a trans ally” that was tacked on a bulletin board wasn’t about inclusion or kindness, but was propaganda, “never thinking that maybe a child put it there who may need understanding and kindness,” Stanford said.

Another candidate posted that LGBTQ+ students have more protections and equity than others because they have access to the wellness center and Drama Club.

“It’s bewildering to me the archaic notion that drama kids are all queer are still around,” Stanford said. “The 1950s called and they want their stereotypes back.”

She added that while the candidate said the district should be focused on curriculum and teaching instead of pronouns, “I dare to think we can do both. Respecting a person and treating them with dignity should not take time away from academic instruction.”

“It’s hard enough to be a teenager in a changing world trying to survive high school, trying to figure life out, peers giving them a hard time and now parents too. The kids are watching. There are teenagers, current high school students and alumni in that group. They have seen the toxic posts and sadly now the parents’ narrow-minded views are trickling down to the children,” she said, asking the board and administrators to publicly condemn the hateful rhetoric.

Don’t ask queer students to leave the classroom

Jakob Pender, a member of the Class of 2022 and a speaker at June’s OCHS commencement, said he has never gotten a response to a letter he sent to the district asking for clarification about a sex ed policy.

He said an administrator was quoted at a parent information session that sexual orientation and gender identity would not be included in health classes and, when asked by a parent what would happen if a student wanted to bring up their own situation, the student would be directed to a district health counselor.

Pender said the policy of sending a student out of class for identifying as LGBTQ+ is wrong, violates New Jersey law against discrimination and could make the district vulnerable to litigation.

He asked that the district clarify its position, saying “it would be very disappointing if the district does not correct a reported public statement by an employee that gives the impression the district condones asking a student to leave the classroom if they disclose their sexual orientation or sexual identify.”

Pender said he wanted the district to swiftly and publicly address the issue “to ensure a safe space” for all LGBTQ+ students. He added that approving the state standards was the “bare minimum. What are we doing to protect the students?”

Different views on “rapid-onset gender dysphoria”

Ocean City resident John Henry criticized the Health and Physical Education Standards, saying they are linked to “rapid-onset gender dysphoria,” which he called a “dangerous social contagion confirmed by Google Trends.”

He said there has been a dramatic surge since 2015 in searches for terms including “puberty blockers,” “transgender,” “gender identity” and “gender dysphoria.” Henry added European doctors pioneered youth medical transition but now European countries are taking a more cautious approach to the use of puberty blockers and cross-sex hormones.

Henry also argued the state standards are dangerous because the district “can no longer keep discipline. “You cannot suspend a student or reprimand a teacher who openly discusses what we have carefully excluded from the standards in any classroom. The standards protect them. Legally, they can talk about any of it, no matter how you limit the curriculum,” he asserted.

He added that the district has “disempowered parents. Teachers now have an oath of secrecy, like priests, rabbis or counselors. Teachers should not keep secrets from parents; it’s wrong for parents and children.”

Henry called on the board to go back and repeal the standards.

Another speaker before the board, Jenna Smith of Upper Township, said she could not let “such problematic statements be stated without a rebuttal.”

Rapid-onset gender dysphoria was proposed in a 2018 study by Brown University and the study has been republished with several corrections since, she said. 

“It has never been recognized by any major professional association as a valid mental health diagnosis and its use has been discouraged by the American Psychological Association, the American Psychiatric Association, the World Professional Association for Transgender Health and other medical organizations due to the lack of reputable scientific evidence and major surveying issues,” Smith said.

She noted her own Google search revealed that “rapid-onset gender dysphoria has been criticized as anti-trans propaganda and just bad science.”

No gay students in the district?

Ellen Byrne of Sea Isle City, a substitute teacher, said her daughter, 2018 OCHS graduate Caroline Byrne, was president of the Drama Club and elected homecoming queen. After graduation, she studied at the University of London.

When Caroline asked a former principal if a gay student alliance could be formed, “she was informed there were no gay students in Ocean City and there were no gay students in any place in this district, which was insulting to my daughter because she came out to us the previous year,” Ellen Byrne said.

She noted her daughter headed the Gay Student Alliance on her college campus and spoke in support of gay student rights throughout the United Kingdom and beyond.

“All the students in the LGBTQ community are asking for is respect for their identify, not for what they may do behind closed doors, but for who they are and their right to be safe within their personhood,” Byrne said. “That’s all they’re asking for. No one wants to come into school and talk about sex. Believe me, I as a substitute teacher in this district, I taught sex education last year for four weeks. It was scary. You know why? Because kids don’t really know how their bodies work.”

She said there was no mention of abortion or contraception or sexual practices in what she taught, “so I’m not sure where all the controversy is coming from. The people who are standing up tonight and advocating for recognition of their basic human rights, to be safe within the walls of this building, it is imperative that you act on it.

“I’m a substitute teacher, but every single day students come to me because they know I’m a safe ally for them and they tell me they are being bullied in the school halls. About being pushed into lockers, about being called a faggot. About being threatened.”

Please allow PRISM Club

OCHS senior Nate Ginet said there is a great need for the PRISM Club at the high school because Gay Student Alliances have helped make schools safer for everyone across the nation.

“For those who don’t know, a GSA is a student-organized and student-led club that aims to create a safe and welcoming environment for all students regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity,” Ginet said. “The club supports lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and other queer students along with their friends and allies. The club is not about anything sexual or political. It is about finding our people, broadening knowledge and sharing common interests. “Like any other club in this school, it is about making friends. This is what PRISM Club aims to be.”

He said students have tried to form a club since 2016 and have been met with roadblocks.

“I am here tonight to say we have had enough,” Ginet said. He noted if students who like math can form math club, if students who want leadership opportunities can join Key Club, Student Council and Leadership Club and National Honor Society, if athletes can join the myriad of sports teams and students interested in other cultures can have clubs related to those cultures, “then LGBTQ+ students and their allies should be able to form a club here.”

He cited Federal Equal Access Act (EAA), adopted in 1984, applying to all high schools receiving federal funds, clearly guarantees that all students have a right to form a GSA, that schools must treat all clubs equally.

School board members respond

School board members Cecelia Gallelli-Keyes, Jacqueline McAlister and Dr. Charles Roche talked about how they believe the issues surrounding the state standards and LGBTQ+ students have been conflated.

Gallelli-Keyes said no matter how board members voted on the state standards — she and McAlister were among those who voted against them and Roche voted in favor — the district should look into allowing the PRISM Club. 

“You should be able to be whoever you want to be,” she said. “It’s not our right to take it away from you.”

McAlister said she voted against the standards because she objected to some of the graphic language in them, but that the issue of LGBTQ+ rights has been conflated and added to that conversation.

“I find that to be deeply offensive because I have dedicated my life, my career, teaching my children, to love and respect everybody. I am an ally. I wouldn’t have devoted my life to public school teaching if I didn’t believe in the inherent value of every single human being,” she said.

“I want to draw a distinction between some of the language in the standard and the school not being welcome to LGBTQ students. To me, those are two different things,” she said. “Voting no against the standards was not meant in any way to create a division or make anyone feel unwelcome. Those two should not be conflated.”

McAlister said she was upset to hear there are still so many students who feel unwelcome in Ocean City schools and that is a failing the board and district need to fix. She told Ginet to reach out to her to help him with the club.

Roche said those who conflated the issues are ones who opposed the standards.

“If it is important and if it helps students who are currently or past members of our school community to hear that I support the LGBTQ+ community, then I am happy to do so,” Roche said. “I think that every child deserves to feel welcome here. 

“I think the conflation of respect for people’s identify and the standards was not done by anyone who is arguing in favor of the standards. It was done by those arguing against the standards and it was intentional,” Roche said.

He added that was not a statement against anyone. 

“It is about the tone of the conversation, which has not been respectful and it needs to be respectful. I appreciate everyone who speaks respectfully on it, regardless of their opinion, and I invite people to continue to speak to each other respectfully,” he said.

By DAVID NAHAN/Sentinel staff

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